OH MY GOD!!!

Well, what do you know, I 'm still alive. I think the last thing I posted was in September of last year and I don't think I've actually written anything for... dear God, I have no idea. The only excuse I can think of is: it's hard to look at a blank box. But that's just bullshit. I've just been mildly uninspired and lazy. More lazy than uninspired. And there are only so many reruns of Friends one can watch before Guillain-Barre Syndrome sets in. OK, that's a bit extreme, but you get the idea.

It's funny how quickly time can pass and thoughts can come and go. Much like the thunderstorm that tried to reign down on Los Angeles came and went today. The lighting was there, even the strum und drang of the thunder. But in the end it was uneventful and left spots on my car. Spots like faded memories of thoughts gone by...

Since I last wrote got into making political ads with a friend. Their funny and mildly timely. We'll see if they continue.

What else? Um... my manager dropped me. That sucked. Pissed me off and sent me into a tailspin. What I find interesting is the response that people who are close to me had. My mother: very worried. My Manager: very uninterested. My friend Keili: very concerned for my well being. The girl I'm not really seeing: Thinking about herself and how I'm a dick for not answering her text messages about her. OK, while that's true, not very fair. Ah... fuck it.

It's amazing how we choose the people we spend time with. I, personally, spend far too much time alone, which in itself is very telling. I should be surrounding myself with powerful people (not power in the sense of what the can do and who they can get to do it, but power in the sense of certainty). Right? Power is good. A true sense of self is good, right? Of course those people tend to stay away from me because I drive them nuts. And I mean NUTS!

Well, I think I drive most people nuts. That's what's charming about me. See, this isn't self deprecating its self realization. I can't continue to say everyone else is crazy, can I? I don't think I'm crazy. That'd just be unhelpful. I'm certainly this side of normal, and socially far better than some. f course by the time I finish writing this you may have a very different view point...

Back to choice. It's all choice. And... no one really has problems. OK. Maybe Katrina victims... they have problems. And people chained up in the closet and forced to be a breeder for their psychotic incestuous Austrian father. They have problems. So do those kids. OK... um... people have problems. I have to realize in the light of those... I have none. But back to choice.

So, the problems I have - and most likely the problems you have - and ones of your own creation. So, stop. That's what I'm trying to do. Wait, no I'm not. I'm uninspired and lazy.

What to do what to do what to do? No idea. Hope that writing this will instigate change. 'Cause what are we if we cannot change? Not sure.

On a completely different note... remodeling sucks.

So that's all I got. It's rambling and has no bearing on anything. Enjoy and hopefully it won't be another year before I write something. Something that actually has a point and has some meaning.

oy.

Watch this...

This is a friend of mine in a great PSA:

Ask and you get... What?

I play the guitar. Occasionally, I play at bars in Los Angeles. I have people who tell me how much they enjoy listening to me play the guitar at said bars in Los Angeles. Some of these people are my friends. When I have a gig at said bars in Los Angeles I send an email out to a large number of people, including my friends, letting them know I'll be playing at one of those bars in Los Angeles. You'd expect that I'd have people and/or friends showing up to said gig in said bar in Los Angeles. You, then, would be expecting wrong. And this goes for the friends too.

"And why do I write this?" you ask yourself - and if you didn't you are now asking yourself because I put the question in your head. The answer: I'm playing on Saturday. I need to get a group of people there so I am able to return and play again - the joys of playing in said bars in Los Angeles. Without a group larger than 3 in number I may not be playing for this particular promoter again, regardless of how talented he thinks I am. So I sent out an email stating this fact... nicely.

One would think I'd get responses of support. One would think.

Let's do a little math. When I send an email from the mailing list provider that I use a fair number can end up in people's spam or junk mail boxes. Fine. Then you get the number who look at the name, maybe recognize it, maybe not and don't read it. And then there are the people who read it and don't respond. Beyond that there are the people who read and respond. So out of, say - and I'm just coming up with a number off the top of my head - 702 people about 400 get the email and 200 live out of town. Let's say. This evening I received 25 emails all telling me the various reasons why my people, my friends cannot make it.

1st where are the other 175?

2nd what makes these people think I am going to feel better knowing they cannot make my gig because they are going to be on a boat in Alaska. That doesn't help. You know what would help - SEND A FRIEND IN YOUR PLACE. That'd help.

I just trying to play out. And what good is art if there is no one there to experience it. As I have told a number of people over the years - you can be the greeted actor in the world in your living room, but who cares. I can be the greatest guitarist in the world, but no one would know.

This isn't a pity party on me. Really, if you can't make it and you have a legitimate excuse - totally cool. But don't think that absolves you. Fill your house by sitting other people's houses. And, hell... I am pretty good.

So if you read this and you take offence, good. If you read this and think "I wonder what his music sounds like?" click HERE or HERE.

Or do the smart thing - come to the Pig N' Whistle on Saturday night at 8. That's this Saturday June 30th. I'd greatly appreciate it.

Oh - one more thing. A person close to me wrote in an email: "I know the right and perfect people are going to show up!!"

I really hope that wasn't a threat.

Something to look at

Now, I'm not a political minded person - not really anyway. And I cannot pretend to be the most informed person you'll ever meet. However, I do believe that there are things we should be aware of and I do believe that in the midst of the hell on earth that we could be moving quickly toward there is a possibility of change. Simple logic is irrefutable: in the end the simplest conclusion is most likely the correct conclusion. We're really good at fucking ourselves up with too much thought. well, here's something to look at and ponder. I've never been one of those people to jump on a bandwagon, but I think I can do my part by simply presenting what I find to be a very smartly laid out simple conclusion.

Watch. Think. Act or don't act - that is your prerogative. But don't idly sit by and complain unless you're willing to at least assume responsibility.




Interesting Argument About Global Warming - Watch more free videos

Women in Art

It takes about 3 minutes and it is very very cool.

Well that didn't work...

"I'll try and write every day for 2 weeks."

Yeah. Right.

It was a nice idea but one that was based in some kind of quicksand reality. It's not that I didn't want to write. In fact I've been fully prepared constantly thinking of new and interesting topics to write about. But still, no go. And I don't exactly know why. I'd like to say I was shooting a film in Tanzania. I'd like to say I was tucked away in some B&B in the woods with some pretty young thing. I'd like to say I was on a coast-to-coast road trip. But none of these would be true. The reality is - most likely - come the end of the day I just forgot to sit down and put my 30 minutes in.

Today I make up for that. Today I write about the abortive attempt at shooting a short little 3-minute YouTube film about me trying to write a song. I call abortive because not only did I basically get nothing out of it, but I actually walked away feeling like I was more of a looser than I do on a good day. Nice.

So the idea was Adam tries to write a song. Well, I'm familiar with that. I've been trying to write a song for the last 2 years with little to no success. Sure I come up with some cool chord progressions. Sometimes I even have a momentary flash of poetic inspiration, but in the end the song never comes to fruition. All I end up with are a couple cool chord progressions and heartfelt esoteric "I wish you were here with me" drivel. And oh what drivel it is!

So, I thought this would make a funny little YouTube movie thing and I would begin the journey of creating my own work and putting it out there for the world to see. Saturate the market, so to say, with flickering images of Adam Donshik. This way I would be taking my friend Jeremy Toeman's advice and do something to create interest in me as opposed to waiting for the phone to ring - and may I say I am not waiting for the phone to ring.

OK, the basic premise is this: when I go to write I tend to do everything but write. I watch TV, play a little, watch more TV, get something to drink, play a little, clean the cat litter, make a phone call, kill ants with Formula 409, make my way back to the guitar but get distracted by an overwhelming need to clean my closets, etc. You get the point. It's not that I have ADD - which I was diagnosed with - it's that I don't really have anything to say. Which is also a lie, but one that I seem to be adept at propagating.

409 does a great job of killing ants on contact. Try it sometime.

Well, my friend Mary, an accomplished filmmaker in her own right - check out her film that's ripping up the festival circuit What Hot Guy? - was kind enough to come over and help me out. Two hours and 1 60 minute tape later I had little more than me scrolling through the 2400 contacts in my cell phone looking for someone to ask out, a humiliating concept without it being taped for all posterity. I'm sure one of these days I'm going to sit down and edit something out of it. They do say directing happens in teh editing room. Of course I don't know who they are so I don't really give the statement much credence.

What did I learn from this debacle? Ok, that may be a little strong. What did I learn from this experience - 'cause you gotta learn something or it wasn't worth it... What I learned was this: I need to draw up a shot list before embarking on a video journey or I ain't getting nowhere. BUT I DON'T WANNA. Too bad.

I'm sure I'll make another attempt in the near future to put something together. Christ I think I know how to do everything better then the ones who are doing it already... now I've got to put my money where my mouth is. I am no longer a passive observer but instead an active participant in my life so I think I should act accordingly.

Well, that's all I got for now. Not really that interesting today. But we can't always change the world now, can we?

OK, I'll try to edit something together ASAP and put it up. Check back periodically.

And this time I will try and write more often. Funny shit just happened and once I find out where it all lies I'll write about it.

Till then...

The Dawning of a New Day

I've decided that I am going to write something here on a daily basis for the next 2 weeks. It's going to be a challenge. Blogging seems easy enough. You sit down and start typing and the words appear on the screen and, wow, you've got something. But what becomes difficult is the sits power it takes to write something. Kinda like the idea that if I take 30 minutes to write something is that 30 minutes I have to subtract from something else I was going to do? Is that an additional 30 minutes I could have spent watching the finale of LOST or browsing Chemistry.com hoping their advanced matching system has found me Ms. Right? 30 minutes. OR am I afraid that the allotted 30 minutes may explode into something more significant like 45 or 60 minutes. Then I might be dipping into precious sleep time - which there never seems to be enough of around season finale time.

So what is 30 minutes really? When you're with someone special its too short. When you're waiting on the 405 to go 2/10 of a mile its forever. But today its the allotted time to write something that hopefully, at some point, means something.

I think I wrote in some earlier post that I started this because I figure since I'm a writer, of sorts, I should write and what better forum then the world wide web? Well, it's entirely possible this and the handful of TV shows I've been on could be my living legacy. So, for those of you who've been on board, thanks for sharing and continue to do so into the future. You are part of my history as I am now a part of yours.

There's where 30 minutes makes a difference. If I can put some thought of mine down that has a lasting affect then I did something of note today. Change the world one 1 and 0 at a time. Infect one's way of thinking. Change the path of one's decision. 30 minutes to change the world. And I don't even have to save a cheerleader.

Perhaps in this 30 minutes the pain of life could dissipate long enough for one to see the flowers, smell the air and realize that all is not bad and all is not crashing down around like an Iraqi city under siege. Perhaps in this 30 minutes could swallow whole the nagging feelings of cowardice that holds one back from making the call that could change their life forever. Perhaps in this 30 minutes i will get the inspiration to get up, walk out of work and finish the incomplete jobs that sit waiting for me at home. Perhaps. Or this 30 minutes will just be a respite from life and a mildly poetic, mildly philosophical look at nothing in particular but the time it took for me to sit and type this. Just imagine what will happen when I start podcasting...

Thank you for taking the 30 minutes to sit and read through this. Know that this is just the beginning, a dawning if you will, of a new day...