comments...

It's funny - I just switched over to this new version of the blogging program - because the program told me to, or asked and then said press here - and I found that I had comments waiting for approval. My friend wrote me a little something - so here I publicly have to say: You made me smile and I really appreciate what you wrote. You are a fantastic friend and that appreciated more than anything else. See, even this cynical nut has a soft side, sorta. Trust me, you don't want to know what my beside reading is right now.

The other comment was from someone named Jayne. I don't think I know her, but a shout out to you as well. In response to my "friends like these" post - Yup, I hope to god the bus and he find each other soon.

So there you have it. I have now exercised my constitutional right to free speech and this time it wasn't even a rant. Something must be happening to me.

Oh, and to all you out there a poll: Lexus IS 250 or Volvo S40 T5? Let me know what you think, 'cause I have to buy a new car and I can't figure out which to get.

Rock on and be well as we move into the last month of the swiftly moving year.

And for those who are suddenly worried that I fell and hit my head... I'm sure I'll have something to write about that isn't so "normal."

MY NEW NEICE DAMN IT!

Alexis Donshik

On November 23rd my brother and his wife embarked on a journey to the Orient. Leaving NY they landed in China on a mission to adopt a baby girl. After almost a year of waiting, yesterday - or today because of the time difference - they met their new baby girl, Alexis.

Here's the link to check out the happy family and read about their journey. My brother's new daughter!

Turkey Day Blues

OH DEAR GOD I ATE TOO MUCH. Agian.

What is it with Americans and eating too much? We invent holidays to gorge ourselves on what is basically one large carbohydrate with some protein sprinkled on top. Some say, on this austere holiday, that the L-tryptophan in the turkey is what puts us asleep; that there is a base chemical reaction leading us to somnolence. I have a different theory: We eat too much and our bodies go into shock. In doing so the body does the only rational thing - shut down. Shock leads to shut down. I know - real out there theory. Of course the alcohol we drink before the meal and the wine during the meal doesn't hurt the falling asleep either.

In essence, we are celebrating with glee the domination of one group of people by another. Yippie! Our puritanical ways beat out your savagery, let's eat! Nice. I wonder how many of the economically depressed Native Americans are celebrating this day with fine wines and catered turkey spreads? Now, since many of these Native Americans finally decided to play our game - Indian resort casinos anyone? - I think they are sitting a bit better than they once were, so maybe the number is higher than I thought. Or they are thinking today should be renamed from Thanksgiving to GO FUCK YOURSELF WHITE MAN day. It has a catchy ring, doesn't it?

I'm gonna make this short because for the second day in a row I've eaten too much. Much too much. I feel sick. I feel fat. I feel like I'm gonna go into diabetic shock at any moment - thank s Amy! So it's off to the couch to sit around in my underwear until way too late and get up to do the whole thing over again.

I'm not eating anymore. Ever again.

Oh... Anyone want to give me $30,000 no strings attached?

Just asking.

Memory & Size

I am traveling right now. Well, not right now. Right now I am sitting in a bed typing this entry, but in general I am on in the midst of a trip. A voyage, a jaunt down memory lane. Memories that are good, bad and, for lack of a better term, indifferent. Yet, there is one commonality to all of these memories: size. Everything seems smaller. Distances, buildings, people, time in general. I am not sure if I can fully describe what I have been experiencing, but I am certainly going to try.

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That was written about 2 months ago. I started writing that on September 7th. September 8th was the last time I posted an entry. Interesting. What is that, 2 months of silence? It's not that I didn't have anything to write about. Rather, I just didn't feel like writing. OK that's not true. I'd think to write, and then sit in front of the TV for 4 hours wondering why my life seems empty and why I care so much about what happens in the lives of make believe people. I guess after coming to the realization that the modern dating world is a useless wasteland of heartache, it's been hard to bring myself to write about all my other bleak observations. But enough of the negative - my friend Leslie is very optimistic and happy, I envy that. And in the midst of that envy I'll make some effort to allow for a modicum of truth in her view point - as much as every fiber of my being is revolting. I mean a guy I went to college is the bad guy on Heros. A part I think I should have at least read for, but no. I didn't. I REALLY SHOUDL HAVE! Zach is a great actor and I am very happy for him. Truly.

Suffice it to say, the topic stays pertinent: Memory and size. Did you like that? The way I deftly changed the topic back to the original with no skill whatsoever? Brilliant. And now for the topic at hand...

Memory plays tricks on each and every one of us. What we think we remember may be vastly different than what truly happened. There are three sides to every story. 1) What I saw/remember, 2) What you saw/remember and 3) the truth. The actual events that occur will forever be lost to the world of perception. A world that is influenced by everything from what you've eaten to how much sun you may have gotten. Take, for example, a car accident.

The truth: Guy X in a Mazda RX7 runs a red light and collides into the passenger side of a Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme trying to turn before on coming traffic bears down on him. The driver of the Cutlass is not wearing a seat belt and is knocked around the front seats and hits his head. The Guy X in the RX7 is OK because his air bags deploy. The person on the north east side of the street saw the whole thing as did the person on the opposite side of the street. Both itching to tell the traffic cop what really happened. Here's where the phenomenon comes to its fullest: The on-looker's stories don't match. Sure, the event is there, but that is the only thing they're going to agree on. An accident occurred. But who hit who? South side of the street guy is positive he saw the Cutlass plow into the RX7 as it was crossing the intersection. North side of the street guy was positive he saw the light turning, but can't remember if it was from yellow to red or green to yellow. But he's sure the RX7 got there just as the Cutlass was turning. Ask the guy in the RX7 - the Cutlass came out of nowhere and the light was fully green. Ask the Cutlass guy what happened and he'll have no idea cause the idiot is driving a car from 1988 that doesn't have air bags, was talking on his new krazor phone from Verizon and wasn't wearing his seatbelt. OK, the actual truth is the guy driving the Cutlass was in a hurry to get home because his new girlfriend was talking dirty to him on the cell phone - which indecently is not a cell phone because it uses digital technology not cell technology - and wanted him bad so he wasn't paying attention as the guy in the RX7, who was looking up street directions on his new Verizon Treo 700, didn't notice that the light changed and if he did notice he didn't care because he's driving an RX7. So, the true culprit here is not driver error or perception, it's Verizon.

Oops. That wasn't the point, was it? The point: perception is clouded. Each person involved in the scenario will have a different memory of what happened. Because they are filtering the stimuli from the outside world through sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. And those are each uniquely tuned to each individual. Look up right now look around and then close your eyes. What do you remember of the room? What's on the wall? What's ont he floor? Ask yourself and then look again. How right were you? Not so right, huh? Memory is not what you think it is.

I believe everything is recorded exactly as it is. We're just recalling it filtered through the limitations of our senses.

So, then, what's this about size? Well, I think that would fall under the established concept that memory is skewed and distorted. That really big tree as a child is not so big as an adult - and that's not because the gardeners have pruned it. We see things in our minds from the state in which we originally saw those things. Hence the tree being a lot smaller than remembered.

When I was home - the impetus for this particular blog - I noticed the tree in my front yard just isn't that big. The tree in the middle of the cul de sac, while larger, isn't in the center of the circle. I had always thought it was. The amount of time it took to go from Lenox, MA to West Hartford was considerably shorter. My Elementary School - puny. And when hell did Wild Oats replace the Service Merchandise?

OK. I've over written this. You got the point a half hour ago. I guess this is what happens when I feel the need to try and make up for not writing for the last 2 months. I'll most likely be writing more, so stay tuned.