Turkey Day Blues
OH DEAR GOD I ATE TOO MUCH. Agian.
What is it with Americans and eating too much? We invent holidays to gorge ourselves on what is basically one large carbohydrate with some protein sprinkled on top. Some say, on this austere holiday, that the L-tryptophan in the turkey is what puts us asleep; that there is a base chemical reaction leading us to somnolence. I have a different theory: We eat too much and our bodies go into shock. In doing so the body does the only rational thing - shut down. Shock leads to shut down. I know - real out there theory. Of course the alcohol we drink before the meal and the wine during the meal doesn't hurt the falling asleep either.
In essence, we are celebrating with glee the domination of one group of people by another. Yippie! Our puritanical ways beat out your savagery, let's eat! Nice. I wonder how many of the economically depressed Native Americans are celebrating this day with fine wines and catered turkey spreads? Now, since many of these Native Americans finally decided to play our game - Indian resort casinos anyone? - I think they are sitting a bit better than they once were, so maybe the number is higher than I thought. Or they are thinking today should be renamed from Thanksgiving to GO FUCK YOURSELF WHITE MAN day. It has a catchy ring, doesn't it?
I'm gonna make this short because for the second day in a row I've eaten too much. Much too much. I feel sick. I feel fat. I feel like I'm gonna go into diabetic shock at any moment - thank s Amy! So it's off to the couch to sit around in my underwear until way too late and get up to do the whole thing over again.
I'm not eating anymore. Ever again.
Oh... Anyone want to give me $30,000 no strings attached?
Just asking.
What is it with Americans and eating too much? We invent holidays to gorge ourselves on what is basically one large carbohydrate with some protein sprinkled on top. Some say, on this austere holiday, that the L-tryptophan in the turkey is what puts us asleep; that there is a base chemical reaction leading us to somnolence. I have a different theory: We eat too much and our bodies go into shock. In doing so the body does the only rational thing - shut down. Shock leads to shut down. I know - real out there theory. Of course the alcohol we drink before the meal and the wine during the meal doesn't hurt the falling asleep either.
In essence, we are celebrating with glee the domination of one group of people by another. Yippie! Our puritanical ways beat out your savagery, let's eat! Nice. I wonder how many of the economically depressed Native Americans are celebrating this day with fine wines and catered turkey spreads? Now, since many of these Native Americans finally decided to play our game - Indian resort casinos anyone? - I think they are sitting a bit better than they once were, so maybe the number is higher than I thought. Or they are thinking today should be renamed from Thanksgiving to GO FUCK YOURSELF WHITE MAN day. It has a catchy ring, doesn't it?
I'm gonna make this short because for the second day in a row I've eaten too much. Much too much. I feel sick. I feel fat. I feel like I'm gonna go into diabetic shock at any moment - thank s Amy! So it's off to the couch to sit around in my underwear until way too late and get up to do the whole thing over again.
I'm not eating anymore. Ever again.
Oh... Anyone want to give me $30,000 no strings attached?
Just asking.
posted by Adam Donshik at 8:20 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home