Spiders

I moved recently. Now that's nothing special, really. When you think about it moving sucks, but we have to do it from time to time in order to better our living condition and/or maintain a stabile head space. I have moved 3 times in the last 3 years. That is 3 times too many. A young woman I have just been getting to know has not moved since moving to LA. 11 years. Now that's impressive. I've been here 8 years and moved 6 times. I'd like to not move anymore... If that's ok.

To my point. A part of moving is loosing things you didn't really need and acquiring things left by the previous tenant. Well, aside from a handy dandy little kitchen side table and some curtains I acquired spiders. And a lot of them. One in particular has made its home under the light outside my front door. Prime real estate for a spider. This little spider has been my companion for the last month. I have kind of gotten used to his presence and I always stop to see what new bug he's caught and what he's up to.

Well two things have happened recently. 1) I found out he is a she and she just had a shit load of little ones and 2) she caught a butterfly. 1) is annoying and ultimately just going to be a mess. 2) is very very very uncool. Butterflies are beautiful and this little cunt of a spider has been sucking the life and the color out of him.

When I came home the other night I saw the butterfly next to my door. In vein I tried to capture the little guy to get him away from the web and the light. That didn't work and our beautiful little friend started to flutter all over the place - specifically toward the light. So I turned it off and, hoping for the best, went inside. Well, this morning the unthinkable had become a reality: the butterfly was becoming spider food.

At that moment the spider, my new 8 leg companion, became my enemy. I have put up with walking through her fellow spider's webs as I walked up my walk way. I have put up with the bug carcasses on the ground. I have put up with the fact that she's a spider. Now THE BITCH IS GOING DOWN! And her little kids are going with her. It's time to ship out little fucker.

I know. I know. Never kill a spider it's bad luck. If you have spiders you have a clean house. I've heard it all and, while I'm a superstitious type person, at this moment I DON"T CARE! You don't fuck with the butterflies, damn it!

So there you have it. Spider that was once my friend is now no longer and has to be eliminated.

If you screw with the beautiful things in this life you are no friend of mine.