The truth is...

I have no idea. I'm an actor. Yes. I live in Los Angeles and I'm an actor. Get over it. And I'm one of the rare ones, a working actor. Watch me on the season finale of CSI and in the show The Tenth Man at the Skylight Theatre. OK, enough with the shameless self-promotion.

Here's the thing. If you're a banker and you do a good job you know it right away because you sell something and your revenue goes up. Sure, there are long term situations that don't yield right away, but for the most part - I'm going to go out on a limb here - gratification is rather immediate. If you do poorly, you'll know it right away because you'll no doubt be sacked if the poorness continues.

Almost to my point: An actor is the product as well as the one dealing with the success or failure of the product. Or, you might say, he is the vacuum and the vacuum cleaner salesman; The CEO, CFO, marketing department, et al all the way down to the janitor – 'cause no one's cleaning up after him so he might as well be cleaning up after himself.

Now my point: Today I did a show, a show I am quite good in - not my assessment exclusively, I got that from the audience as well. Yet, while doing it I thought I was more like a steaming pile of turd until the last moment. The last moment I know was good. George Lucas said as long as the thing starts well and ends well you can get away with just about anything in between. At least I think George Lucas said that. Who cares really, my view of my performance was not that of the audience and I need to get over it. Who cares what I think. No one. It doesn't matter. What matters is the effect I had, you had, he had, she had, who-the-fuck-ever had on the audience. That's where the money’s at. People cried. I affected them. I'm good. People didn't cry. I didn't affect them. I'm bad. Not exactly, but that is what seems to go on in this neurotic Jew's head.

And... scene. So what's the lessen? If there is a lessen? The truth is as elusive as a snow cone in Death Valley. You know it’s there, but fuck me if I can find it.

Talent is what talent does. I don’t care how talented you are or aren’t. If you don’t do something with it then you might as well not have it. If you have it, flaunt it. If you flaunt it than right on.

I seem to have moved on away from my point – not that there really was one to begin with. This is a blog. And, more specifically, it’s my blog so you really are getting the incoherent ramblings of, something.

I leave you with a line from a song, a song by Glen Phillips:
We moved to LA, it’s just a regular city dropped from a great height.

Next week, or tomorrow or even later today we’ll be taking up the concept of community and what it means to… uh… well... me.

I assure you, at some point these will make sense and you’ll think “wow, he’s got a strong view point on that” or “wow, what a horses ass” or “wow, I never thought of it just that way” or “damn this guy deserves his own series so he’s too busy to pollute the internet with his banal pontificating on the state of tree growth in the great North West.” OK that last one you won’t think. But I can bring in an expert who will do the pontificating for me.

Take care sweet angels and realize that life isn’t as bad as we think it is. That’s just us complicating it for the sake of complicating it and thinking that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Breathe and you’ll feel a lot better. But if you’re going to be breathing for prolonged stretches, you might want to get a surgical mask.